"It's Me, Bitches"

My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable. That's all you really need to know about The Kid. It's starting again. I've been laying back, hiding in the shadows. To quote DMX, "Here we go again, UH HUH!!" The Kid is back with a brand new edition. A newer, bigger, brighter "The Kid's World' !!! Welcome aboard, enjoy the ride.

And just for good measure, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

Too much attention is being paid to Michael Vick and this whole Steroids controversy. You can't tell me that there aren't more important things going on in this Great Nation of ours. Dogfighting is a terrible, horrific yet strangely entertaining sports (?) but is it this news worthy? And on top of that, does there need to be an elaborate defense and trial against Michael Vick? Is that really going to send a message to all the people who were doing this for a long time before Michael Vick ever appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated?

And fuck Barry Bonds and this whole steroid thing. I'm sick of hearing about it. Here are two quick solutions:

1) Do nothing. Who gives a shit? It's entertainment. Let the entertainers entertain. We want to see homeruns. Like Crash Davis said to Nuke LaLoose, "Strikeouts are fascist".

2) Take the millions of dollars that you would have spent on this whole thing and put it into more extensive testing. Boxers are tested after every match. Start testing baseball players after every game. Test them weekly if that's easier. Actually, if more money is spent testing more often, the major companies that handle drug testing will have more of a demand, drop the price and smaller sports entities (high schools, college, day care, etc.) will be able to afford it and ultimately strike out steroids.

The Chris Benoit Saga is a great example of everything that is wrong with the WWE. Nice job Vince. Fake your death, then "come back to life" to glorify Benoit, who just so happened killed his wife, mentally challenged adolescent son and then himself. At least he got something right.

The people at Thomas English Muffins will one day bow down to The Kid. I'm currently in the pre-production phase of a new English Muffin. Think about it - how many different brands of english muffins can you name? Not many, right? So, all you have to do is introduce a new brand, market the shit out of it against Thomas' and watch the money roll in. Until the shady underworld of the english muffin industry gets wind of it and sabotages my dream. Then it's on to ice cream. I have two new flavors that no one has had the balls to create. First off, cheeseburger ice cream. And second...beer flavored ice cream. Get off me son.

Thanks to the colaborative efforts of myself and an individual who you will know as "Scarlet J", there is a new line of t-shirts set to hit the virtual shelves at The Kid's World T-Shirt Shop at www.cafepress.com/the_kids_world.

And yes, one of them will be the "Monkey Sword Fight" t-shirt. Which is probably the greatest thing I've ever seen.

I'm going on record as saying "Fuck Southern Connecticut State University". Those fucking dirtbags can suck a muthafuckin' dick for all I'm concerned. Bitches.

Just so everyone knows, The Kid's World will be a collaborative, fully interactive effort. I fully encourage people to comment as much as possible. Also, send in rant ideas or send a rant yourself. Hell, send anything you want. We always need good content at The Kid's World.

And before this is all over with, we are having the Tournament of Champions, pitting all-time great movie heroes against one another.