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Somebody See If Hank Is Awake

Posted by thekid29 Posted on: 07/25/07

Somebody See If Hank Is Awake

Here are the facts of the case...

Babe Ruth set the all-time homerun mark with 714 career bombs. Hank Aaron broke that record and then retired with 755 homeruns. When Aaron broke Ruth's record, he was receiving death threats and portrayed in the media terribly due to the times (black player breaking a white player's record), yet he still persevered. When he retired, he coined the phrase, "Records are meant to be broken. I hope that in 10 years, in 15 years, someone comes along and challenges the record. Let it be a white player or a black player. Barry Bonds currently stands at 753 homeruns as of 7:07 p.m. on Wednesday, July 25, 2007.

My question is this. If Hank Aaron knows of the pressure dealing with this record, or any record for that matter, why doesn't he embrace Bonds, who is loved by a close friend of Aaron's in Willie Mays? The answer is simple: Hank Aaron, probably the greatest player of all-time, does not want to support someone who may have used steroids to break the most hallowed record in all of baseball. You want proof? Here you go...

Hank Aaron's homerun record isn't even his most treasured accomplishment. He owns the record for total bases (6, 856), runs batted in (2,297) and extra base hits (1,477) in addition to the homerun record. How impressive are those numbers? After Bonds, who is first all time in total bases, the next player, Ken Griffey, Jr., has 2,059 fewer bases than Aaron. After Bonds, Griffey also has 1,673 career RBI, or 624 fewer than Aaron. Those are records that will never be broken. Those are the ones that Aaron has said he is most proud of. So, if the homerun record is the one record that he holds that he knew was likely to be broken, why would he not embrace the son of one of the greatest baseball "guys" in Major League history in Bobby Bonds? Why would he not support the godson of his good friend Willie Mays? Why would not support a former player of such great managers, who all support him now, in Dusty Baker and Jim Leland? Because Aaron, like Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig, don't want to be associated with Bonds, should he ever test positive.

ESPN is completely shameless, and almost 100% responsible for all the hoopla around Barry Bonds. It's sickening. As I'm sitting here writing this, I'm watching the "town meeting" discussion on ESPN called "Beyond 756". How terrible is this? Why is this show necessary, now? When I say now, I question why they are doing it before Bonds breaks the record. He could wake up tomorrow, get hit by a bus, and all they've done is slander someone who has yet to test positive for steroids, yet has been tested more than any active player, including Jason Giambi. It's simple. There is so much hatred towards Bonds, the Worldwide Leader doesn't want bad ratings for their "Game of the Week" and their Bonds 756 coverage. They have to see the outcry of the nation. They just showed a poll where 86% of all people polled, which included a majority in all 50 states, say that Bonds breaking the record is a travesty. So what do they do? They bring on his old manager in Dusty Baker. They bring in former teammates Ellis Burks and Kirk Reuter. They bring in Buster Olney, who has never said a bad thing about Bonds. And where do they have this town meeting? In San Francisco. Amazing. Let's load the deck and try to paint a beautiful picture of an ugly soul. The only guy who has made any sense so far is the sports writer who said that he was covering this for the sake of history. He elaborated by saying that he recently wrote an article on Jackie Robinson, and in doing research, he traveled to St. Louis to find any old newspaper clippings on Robinson. He did not find a thing. Amazing. No mention of the first black player in a sport previously dominated by whites coming to town. The writer simply put, "I don't want to make the same mistake as those writers."

In the end, it will end like this:

Bonds will break the record before the week is out. There will be a statement released by the commissioner's office congratulating Bonds, but no public appearance in support. I know, I know. He said he would be there, but he won't. Hank Aaron still will refrain from comment, and this whole debate will rage on until Bonds retires or is caught. I lean towards the first. They are not going to catch Bonds if he has not been caught already.

Unless Bonds hits number 754, retires and leaves things the way they are. This quote from Bonds should answer that question:

"I don't mind being taunted or booed. I love going to L.A. They're all over me out there. Very creative, and completely relentless. You know why I love it? Because I walk out to the outfield and think, 'You need as much talent as I have to be hated by 53,000 people.'"

Michael Vick is not going to play football this season, and will likely never play again. Watch.

And the Tim Donaghy thing is probably the most repulsive thing to happen this year that didn't involve death or dismemberment in the world of sports. The bottom line is this, Pete Rose, the greatest hitter of his era, will never be in the Hall of Fame and will always be remembered not for his career hits record, but because he bet on baseball. But this was a guy whose paycheck was signed by the Cincinnati Reds. The National Basketball Association signs Donaghy's paycheck. Officials are supposed to police wrongdoing, not be at the heart of it.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, a new addition to The Kid's World. The poetry of Scarlet J. Holla back

Talking smack all around town
Hamden's finest are going down.
Edgy demeanor, never bows to the man
Kickin' it old school like only he can.
Instances remembered, the bad and the good,
Droppin' mad bombs like only he would.
Sweet's on his way, for he's got the itch,
Welcome to the kid's world, you silly bitch.
Out come the thoughts, the worldly advice, the
Regulars are slackers, they'd never suffice.
Learn the lay of the land and enter with care,
Dick, you've been schooled, now pull up a chair.

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"It's Me, Bitches"

Posted by thekid29 Posted on: 07/09/07

"It's Me, Bitches"

My style is impetuous, my defense is impregnable. That's all you really need to know about The Kid. It's starting again. I've been laying back, hiding in the shadows. To quote DMX, "Here we go again, UH HUH!!" The Kid is back with a brand new edition. A newer, bigger, brighter "The Kid's World' !!! Welcome aboard, enjoy the ride.

And just for good measure, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!

Too much attention is being paid to Michael Vick and this whole Steroids controversy. You can't tell me that there aren't more important things going on in this Great Nation of ours. Dogfighting is a terrible, horrific yet strangely entertaining sports (?) but is it this news worthy? And on top of that, does there need to be an elaborate defense and trial against Michael Vick? Is that really going to send a message to all the people who were doing this for a long time before Michael Vick ever appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated?

And fuck Barry Bonds and this whole steroid thing. I'm sick of hearing about it. Here are two quick solutions:

1) Do nothing. Who gives a shit? It's entertainment. Let the entertainers entertain. We want to see homeruns. Like Crash Davis said to Nuke LaLoose, "Strikeouts are fascist".

2) Take the millions of dollars that you would have spent on this whole thing and put it into more extensive testing. Boxers are tested after every match. Start testing baseball players after every game. Test them weekly if that's easier. Actually, if more money is spent testing more often, the major companies that handle drug testing will have more of a demand, drop the price and smaller sports entities (high schools, college, day care, etc.) will be able to afford it and ultimately strike out steroids.

The Chris Benoit Saga is a great example of everything that is wrong with the WWE. Nice job Vince. Fake your death, then "come back to life" to glorify Benoit, who just so happened killed his wife, mentally challenged adolescent son and then himself. At least he got something right.

The people at Thomas English Muffins will one day bow down to The Kid. I'm currently in the pre-production phase of a new English Muffin. Think about it - how many different brands of english muffins can you name? Not many, right? So, all you have to do is introduce a new brand, market the shit out of it against Thomas' and watch the money roll in. Until the shady underworld of the english muffin industry gets wind of it and sabotages my dream. Then it's on to ice cream. I have two new flavors that no one has had the balls to create. First off, cheeseburger ice cream. And second...beer flavored ice cream. Get off me son.

Thanks to the colaborative efforts of myself and an individual who you will know as "Scarlet J", there is a new line of t-shirts set to hit the virtual shelves at The Kid's World T-Shirt Shop at www.cafepress.com/the_kids_world.

And yes, one of them will be the "Monkey Sword Fight" t-shirt. Which is probably the greatest thing I've ever seen.

I'm going on record as saying "Fuck Southern Connecticut State University". Those fucking dirtbags can suck a muthafuckin' dick for all I'm concerned. Bitches.

Just so everyone knows, The Kid's World will be a collaborative, fully interactive effort. I fully encourage people to comment as much as possible. Also, send in rant ideas or send a rant yourself. Hell, send anything you want. We always need good content at The Kid's World.

And before this is all over with, we are having the Tournament of Champions, pitting all-time great movie heroes against one another.

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